Well today was an interesting day. Sitting on my computer I was looking at my Facebook news feeds and saw something pop up about “happy coffee” or “smart coffee”.  So I did some digging and contacted a girl named Linda and asked her more about the products and company. We got to talking and she told me all about this product and how it can help me see results (especially since I am already eating a mostly low carb/keto diet).  Plus HELLO – IT’S COFFEE!!!!

Now, keep in mind that in the last 7 years I have spent enough money I could probably but a down payment on a house on failed products and plans that promised they were the answer.

I have tried every other product or plan out on the market or the internet. Some include Weight Watcher, Thrive, Visalus aka Body By Vi, ItWorks, TruVision Health, Plexus Slim, FitSticks, HCG Diet, Ace, BodyFX, Advocare, Herbalife, Isagenix, Cabbage Soup Diet, Mediterranean Diet, The Biggest Loser Diet, Shakeology / Beachbody, Abia Health… well the list goes on! Needless to say none of them worked for me and meal replacement plans had me sick to my stomach and dizzy by day 2 or 3. Each of them were a failure in their own ways and I remained, well – FAT!

Needless to say, I am the biggest skeptic she may ever have had the pleasure of speaking with in her life. (although side note, after we got to chatting we discovered we met our husband’s at the exact same bar in Scranton, PA, and even lived and worked in the same small town for a while – talk about a small world – it had to be God getting us together I’m sure of it).

Here I sit with all of my weight to lose (plus some), after 10 years since I was pregnant with my youngest child….

So, what makes this time different? Why won’t I gain it all back again this time? Why will I stick with this when I never have before?

I don’t want to be in this spot anymore. The spot where I avoid getting my picture taken because I am embarrassed with how I look, I do not go clothes shopping because I keep saying “I am going to lose weight so why buy stuff that won’t fit in a month (and of course then I never lose anything, it just the thought of seeing the size of what I will need to buy).

I see myself in the mirror and literally, out loud, call myself fat and disgusting.

I mean look at just my face in that photo up top– THIS IS NOT WHO I AM!

I almost passed out when Karen from Motor Racing Outreach took this picture at the Charlotte Motor Speedway Race when we had our monthly Women’s event at the track (let alone that she posted it on Facebook and tagged me!) Its always so hard to go to the races and sit with the other NASCAR wives and be… well FAT. For me it is embarrassing to go to the races and look the way I do around the other driver and team wives.

I need to find the gal inside of me that I used to be, the one that I actually LIKE.

By the way that beautiful girl next to me, that is my oldest child – one of the lights of my life. One of the reasons I need to take off this weight and get healthy so that I can be around for her and my son and my husband for a LONG time to come.

Can anyone relate?? Why does this consume my life??? Will there ever be a time when it won’t? Will this stuff really be the answer? I guess time will tell….